I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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