Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
