oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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