fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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