it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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