my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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