If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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