Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
