I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
