Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
