I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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