I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
