apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
