If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
