we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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