Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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