Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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