I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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