I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
