What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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