It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
