He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
