just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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