Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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