If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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