it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
