"it" just moved
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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