I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
