You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
