She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I could make wine with my vomit
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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