If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
