I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
