a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
