Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
