Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
