you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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