I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
