Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
