guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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