True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Your penis caused this!
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