we're blogging at a bar
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
