So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
