I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter