Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
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Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
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Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy