lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.