Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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