Duck Duck Cougar?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Sorry my hands just texted you
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?