I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
