you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
