I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize