I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
