he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
you never un-have a 4some
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
