Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
