oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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