so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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