Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
