he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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