i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
