Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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