i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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