I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
