no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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