my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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