whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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