It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have aggressive nipples.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
