Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
