So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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